


i feel this something rising in my veins

by Hieiandshino



Series: United States of Multifandom: English Edition [7]
Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Issues, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love Triangles, M/M, Older Characters, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-19 00:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14224743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieiandshino/pseuds/Hieiandshino
Summary: In which Atobe meets an old friend and the chance to fall in love is too great to pass.(United States of Multifandom. Prompt 24:Unexpected crack!ship. Unrevised work)





	i feel this something rising in my veins

**Author's Note:**

> _Prince of Tennis_ does not belong to me.
> 
> The title comes from the song "Love is just a game", by The Magic Numbers.
> 
> This fanfic was not revised and English isn't my first language, so please forgive any mistakes.
> 
> Also, this is my first time writing TeniPuri in a long time.

When they were younger, Keigo liked to think he hated Mukahi Gakuto. The boy was everything he was not — highly emotional, impulsive, brash and, worst of all, weak — at the same time he too had the worst of Ore-sama's qualities ( _always qualities, never flaws_ ). He was caustic and sarcastic, thought himself too much and never admitted he was wrong or mistaken.

And, yes, maybe this could be qualities to anyone else, but on Mukahi Gakuto, it was headache-inducing details. Keigo hated it and would always hate, he said to himself.

.

His voice does not break when he screams anymore. He is quieter, however. Keigo never knew if he was louder in bed with Oshitari or with Hiyoshi ( _and you know he fucked them both, it's Gakuto’s modus operandi_ ), but imagined he was. Gakuto stopped being so loud and brash, apparently, because of his job now. Still, his voice escapes and grows louder and louder when Keigo does something he likes in bed. His clipped nails leave angry red marks on his shoulders that ache during the night and the day after they fuck, and if Keigo were more like before, he would hate it.

These days, he presses his fingers on them and gets hard when the pain comes, suddenly but expected at the same time.

“Keigo.” Gakuto whispers when he is close. He still is so flexible and he understands now why Oshitari liked this so much.

Keigo hates to think of Oshitari when he is in bed with Gakuto.

When it's over, they are both covered in sweat and marks from mouths and fingers, and so quiet.

Keigo watches Gakuto breathe and slowly fall asleep. His tousled hair is an invitation to be smoothed out by his fingers, but Keigo always leaves, haunted by this feeling.

This isn't that. He has to remember that sometimes. It isn't that.

.

Keigo recognizes Mukahi by his hair. He almost misses it because he is at the hospital to check on his father who is slowly dying of cancer, and suddenly there is a flash of red hair that is the same shade he remembers from his memories of school and of his photographs of the tennis team, and when Keigo looks up, he thinks it's just his impression.

But there is Mukahi leaning down a child, white coat saying he is a doctor. _What a weird thing_ , Keigo thinks ( _and you almost call yourself Ore-sama_ ) as he stares at. However, he does nothing, only watches. It's Gakuto that comes to him after he notices Keigo watching. “Surprised?” Mukahi asks, smug.

 _Mukahi Gakuto indeed_ , Keigo thinks, but smirks. “Amazed.”

Mukahi matches his smirk.

.

How they became lovers, Keigo does not remember. His father had been dead for over two months, and yet Keigo kept going to the hospital to talk to Gakuto. Gakuto, now. They were both older and did not need to antagonize each other so much, for whatever reasons they had in the past. Gakuto was glad to see Keigo when he could — he was often busy, working with children — and Keigo was glad to see part of his past (of all your glory, Keigo) and talk about that, without having to do it by email or texts, like he did with Oshitari, Kabaji, and Jirou.

On that particular day, they went for drinks. Gakuto drank too little and Keigo drank too much — a consequence of having his father's last will open and seeing he expected Keigo to marry and have children if so he wished to control the family business for forever ( _it's almost as if he knew about you, Keigo. How you never felt anything for your girlfriends and possible fiancées, just to feel too much that time when Oshitari slept at your apartment two years ago and fucked you senseless on the mattress, or when Jirou would steal kisses from you when you were playing tennis, if he happened to win that round — and sometimes you would lose on purpose_ ) — and Gakuto offered his apartment for Keigo.

It was sudden, how they both stared at each other on the couch, and it was unexpected when they kissed.

It made sense when Gakuto made a noise when Keigo pulled his hair, and it was right when they both stumbled towards the bed.

.

Keigo sometimes wonders about Oshitari. Gakuto does not talk about him, so it must have been bad, their end. Oshitari also doesn't talk about Gakuto, never even mentioned him on his emails and messages, or when they saw each other ( _when you fucked him when your dad expected you to meet this girl he set you up and you didn't even go_ ). It's as if they are trying to forget each other, move on from what they have — that seemed to be so strong.

He could ask, he knows. He could casually mention Oshitari to Gakuto and see his reaction. It would be counterproductive since he is now in a purely sexual relationship with him, but it would satiate his curiosity.

When he meets Gakuto for lunch one day and he bursts out laughing at something Keigo tells him, he changes his mind. What if he frowns. What if he suffers.

What if he goes back to him.

.

His father liked to ask questions. About his love life, about women, about people he met and if any women have caught his eye. Maybe an actress — he surely could meet them, if so he wished. Maybe he needs to do like Prince Rainier III and search the world and find his own Grace Kelly. Japanese would be better, but—

Keigo's mother doesn't do this. She is quiet and observant and because of this, Keigo speaks. He mentions Gakuto one too many times and it takes some time to notice what he is doing. That he is talking about Gakuto almost as if they were together.

Keigo sees the way her face show she is worried, though for just one moment — then it disappears like it was never there. Anxiety invades him, unexpected and unwanted and he changes the subject.

That same day, he asks one of his father's daughter to dine with him. He cancels with Gakuto with some regret and stays away from him for a few weeks.

It should be forever, that's the truth. It should be forever, but the daughter is annoying and laughs too little and her hair is black and not auburn or red and her teeth are crooked and—

He appears unannounced on the hospital three weeks later and says he got too busy. Gakuto stares at him for a few seconds, eyes harsh. He does not believe him.

“You can pay me dinner, then.” It's all he says.

When he drops to his knees in front of Gakuto and sucks him off the moment they enter his apartment, everything feels to go back in place.

.

In one of those fancy parties, Keigo finds Shishido. He looks out of place in his expensive suit, drinking champagne, until he sees Keigo and his frowning face breaks into a smile. It's a reaction Keigo is not used to because Shishido and he were never on good terms before, but adulthood seems to have suited him as well.

Keigo knows he is still with Choutarou, married and adopting children. The last time he heard of him, however, they were living in Germany, where Choutarou was part of an orchestra. “Just visiting our parents”, it's what Shishido says when Keigo wonders out loud. “What about you? What have you been doing lately?”

Working for his father's company, he says. Wanting to become the CEO, he doesn't say, but everyone knows this. It's his dream since he was a child — this and tennis.

“No wife?”

“No.” Keigo says and he mastered the non-committal tone, instead of a rude one. It makes people wonder, when you are brusque. “Not yet.”

“I thought you would be married by now.”

So did his father. So did he. Keigo just shrugs and says he hasn't met the right woman yet.

“Oh, do you know who I saw?” Keigo says suddenly. “Mukahi.”

The subject changes to Gakuto becoming a pediatrician, something that does and does not suit him. Choutarou appears by Shishido's side and mentions they saw Hiyoshi one of these days too.

“We should all meet again.”Choutarou says, smiling. “A reunion!”

“And play some good tennis. Bet I can win of you.”

Keigo smirks. “You surely became overly confident after you married rich.”

The shriek Shishido gives in the middle of the part is worth enough the unwanted attention of the other guests.

When Keigo looks at them, he sees his mother, watching.

.

“They are very happy.” Keigo's mother says in lieu of a conversation when they get home. Keigo is going to stay the night just to keep her company and then he will go back to his apartment in the morning. She always says she does not need but is happier when he is there.

“Who?”

“Your friends. They married each other, didn't they?”

Keigo swallows. “Yes.”

“I want you to be happy too.” She says.

Keigo doesn't answer. On his phone, a message from Gakuto appears, asking how the party went and telling him about a kid he saved just now.

.

Keigo always wonders about Gakuto. What made him study medicine. What made him become a pediatrician. He never looked like someone who would do this, find a steady job and settle down. He was always adventurous and though his grades were good — he would never have survived on the tennis team with bad grades, because Keigo always held them to higher standards —, he never seemed interested on those things.

Biology wasn't even one of his favorite subjects in school. _People change_ , Keigo thinks, remembers, but it still feels foreign, the idea that Gakuto could change so much, become much more mature and have a job so responsible.

Keigo does comment on that one night when Gakuto invites him to drink on his house. He laughs at these questions and simply says he tried to medic school to see if he could, to spite his dad and when he passed, he thought _why not_.

“It was a nightmare. But I kept going anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because then my dad would say he knew I couldn't take it.”

Keigo wonders what it is to make a career out of spite but then remembers how he still tries to find a woman that interests him enough to marry. They both seem to try too hard to please or displease their fathers.

“Is he still alive?”

Gakuto shrugs. “I don't know. I haven't talked to him ever since I graduated from uni.”

Keigo opens his mouth to ask why, but instead he drinks some more.

They don't even make the bed that night. Gakuto corners him on the kitchen and Keigo gladly fucks him against the kitchen counter, his legs wrapped on his waist and his first name on his lips being whispered again and again until Gakuto comes and bites him hard on the neck. Keigo doesn't stop until he comes inside the condom.

He stays the night. In the bed, Gakuto against his chest, Keigo says: “My father wrote on his will that I would only become CEO if I married a woman.”

Gakuto is silent for a moment. “Shit.” He says then, very eloquently.

“Yeah.”

.

Oshitari is back in Japan. He has been living in Scotland for a while now, but he still has parents and needs to visit them.

“Why don't you stay with them, then?”

Oshitari smile says enough. It makes Keigo more anxious that he would have liked, to think that Oshitari would want to sleep with him when he had been sleeping with Gakuto all this time. It unsettles him for reasons he does not understand.

He confronts his feelings when he is at work, and realizes that it could be said Gakuto and he are exclusive. Which is ridiculous, because they are not in a relationship ( _you don't have relationships with men. Getting attached is bad in these circumstances, imagine falling for someone he would have to break up with eventually_ ) and he does not even know if Gakuto sleeps with other men.

Still, all the clues are there. Keigo spends too much time with Gakuto and they do other things other than sex. They watch tennis games and talk, they play tennis themselves. They went to the movies a few times, too.

It feels like they are dating.

Keigo hates this feeling. Enough to kiss Oshitari when he gets to the apartment when he comes back from his father's house.

It feels wrong and he is not the only one to feel this.

“Atobe.” Oshitari says when he breaks the kiss, rather forcefully. “I— I'm not here for you.”

Keigo frowns. “You implied.”

“Yes. I know, I— Ah. I saw Shishido in his house in Germany.”

Oh.

“He told me about Gakuto.”

_Oh._

“You want him back.”

Oshitari smiles wistfully.

.

Keigo offers his apartment to Oshitari and _Gakuto_ — it's weird to call him like this, now — to solve things and goes to his mother. He arrives unannounced in the middle of the night. His mother opens his mouth to berate him on his unexpected visit — she always hated those and always wanted to know before the guests arrived to prepare —, but sees his face and only rushes him inside.

It's best to lose Gakuto now than later, and this way he does not need to worry about ending things, isn't that right?

Perhaps Keigo is an idiot and just gave up a good thing because he is scared.

.

When he comes back to his mother's house from work, his mind still thinking of Oshitari and Gakuto, the maid smiles at him sneakily and tells him he has a guest, who is being entertained by his mother.

Keigo knows exactly who it is. He walks faster than he would have liked in any other circumstance — his mother was always against to running in the house, no matter how large it is —, and when he reaches the living room, there is Gakuto drinking tea with his mother, looking entirely out of place. She smiles widely as he explains his job as a pediatrician, delighted in ways she has not been ever since his father died.

It's a strange sight.

“Keigo!” She says when she spots him. “Don't stand there, come inside and drink some tea.”

“Mother.” Keigo says, in lieu of a greeting but his eyes never leave Gakuto's. “What—”

“Mukahi-san came to see you.”

“I can see that.” Keigo says and Gakuto drinks his tea, a little ashamed. “I got held up at a meeting.”

“No problem! It was great to talk to an old friend of yours.” She smiles too brightly and Keigo knows this means something else. Gakuto seems to know that as well.

She slips out of the living room as soon as she finishes her tea, but not before she asks Gakuto about his hair color and if it's natural, showing she is pleased when he confirms it. Red has always been one of her favorite colors, she says, and his father's.

Keigo wants to die a little.

Still, it's less awkward than when she leaves them alone, saying she will have a walk in the garden and that Gakuto should do this too, one day. “It's beautiful this time of the year.”

“I will, thank you.” Gakuto answers and finishes his drink — only to prepare another one, and Keigo wonders if he is pretending tea is alcohol to go through this.

“Gakuto—”

“Sorry, I shouldn't— it's just that— Yuushi was in your apartment and—”

“It's fine, really—”

“I was going to leave a message with your butler, but then your mother came and—”

Keigo is able to imagine what happened then. His mother was always good at cornering people, be it Keigo, his father or someone entirely unknown. She is charming and aging gave her the perfect opening as a simple, adorable old lady, who offers too much tea and extremely expensive but delicious cookies.

“It's fine, Mukahi.” He says.

Gakuto deflates a little with the use of his last name. Keigo flinches at this because it sounds as if he is angry at him, and not—

He just wants this to end.

“I gather Oshitari went to see you.” He starts again on a different subject. Kind of different subject.

“He knew where I worked.” Gakuto says, frowning. “It was a little disturbing, but then he said you told him.”

“Yes. He— Shishido talked to him about you. How I saw you one of these days and told him. When he arrived, he told me he wanted to see you.” It wasn’t like it happened, but Keigo does not need to think about his panicked kiss on him and what happened after. What is still happening now.

Gakuto grimaces at that, which is answer enough. “He seemed hopeful.” Keigo continues.

“It’s been a long time.” Is all he says. It should be enough, but Keigo never settled for half-answers before and he won’t now.

“This isn’t an answer.”

“You didn’t ask me a question.” Gakuto says, smirking. “You remarked something.”

Keigo swallows an answer to that, rather angrily, because he knows Gakuto is right at that. “What happened between the two of you?”

Gakuto’s gaze softens. “I told him I wasn’t interested in rekindling the past. I told him about us.”

“There is no us. We were not in a relationship.”

“Is this why you are using past tense?” Gakuto asks and his tone shows he is getting angry at this.

Keigo only sighs. He sits on the couch, on the place his mother sat when she was talking to Gakuto and prepares some tea to himself, if not to drink, to gather some time to think on how to answer Gakuto, on how to make things easier to himself.

Gakuto doesn’t let him. “I thought your mother didn’t know about you.”

Keigo misses his teacup when he adds a spoon of sugar on his drink. Half of it falls on the saucer.“She doesn’t, but she has a suspicion.”

Gakuto makes a small sound in the back of his throat and silence gathers between them again. Keigo flinches every time his spoon clashes against the china, something he was taught from an early age to not do it. It only shows how much altered he is from this. From all of this.

He sips his tea. Too sugary, but it will do for now. Maybe it’s what he needs. It’s exactly the way Gakuto would prefer, he is sure. “Why are you here, Gakuto.”

“Well, because it seems that I’m the most emotionally mature of both of us, which is surprising and a little disturbing.” Keigo smiles at that. “But also because I’m confused as hell.”

 _You are not the only one_ , Keigo thinks but doesn’t say anything. Gakuto sits next to him and stares at him. “We weren’t in a relationship, I get that. But it was a good thing… And suddenly you threw me to one of my ex-boyfriends and offered your house to what? Celebratory sex?”

Keigo flinches. “I thought it would seem weird if I didn’t let him bring you to my apartment.”

“You could’ve just said we are seeing each other. Kind of seeing each other, but still.”

 _I thought you wanted this. It would be easier for me if you did. An easy way out._ Keigo never thought he would want things to be easy on him — not on tennis, not on his climb to power, but it seems that for relationships, he doesn’t mind letting go. _I never had a relationship_ , he remembers himself. The closest thing, before Gakuto, was Jirou, and they too ended things rather easily. Jirou was always easy going. “I— Maybe I wanted you to get back together.”

Gakuto snickers. “Man, you sure have _issues_. Sometimes I think I need therapy because of my dad, but _you?_ Your daddy issues can be seen from Mars.”

“Thank you.” Keigo says, dryly.

“Well, then, everything is solved. I think. You just need to sort things out with yourself and with your mother, but that I can’t help you.” Gakuto says and gets up, all of sudden. “Besides, I have a shift now, so. When you decide, you know where to find me.”

“What do you mean ‘everything is solved’? You didn’t tell me what happened with you and Oshitari!”

“Oh, I told him about us.”

“You _what?_ ”

“And found Shishido on Facebook and told him too. And Jirou. And Taki. Munehiro doesn’t have a Facebook, apparently, but Hiyoshi does, how crazy is that? I told him too.”

Keigo feels a headache blossoming, like the cherry trees on Sakura Matsuri. “Why would you—”

“Just in case.”

“Asshole.”

Gakuto makes a fake outraged sound, which disturbingly sounds like his mother, on the only four times she ever heard him curse. “Language, Keigo. Tell your mom bye!” He says, but he is already smirking like he would do it anytime he rattled somebody’s feathers. And then, he is gone.

.

“He already left?” His mother sounds incredibly disappointed and Keigo feels she has gotten everything wrong.

Half of it wrong.

“Mother, we—”

Keigo’s mother interrupts him. “Your father wrote that clause because he was worried about you.” She starts.

“I— What?”

“He was always saying you were lonely and was turning into a workaholic.”

“Yes, I remember, but—”

“I think he wanted you to find a balance before you became CEO. You would work yourself to death and that was the thing he was more afraid of.” She explains. “I don’t think he ever thought that you… Just didn’t like women. It’s not something that has ever crossed my mind until recently.”

“Recently.”

“When you saw that lovely couple that was your teammates at Hyotei. You know. That made me think of your friend Jirou—”

“ _Oh, God_.”

“—And now things make sense.” She smiles then. “I’m happy you found someone. I’m not going to judge you.”

“We’re not together.” Keigo says, the phrase automatic now.

Mother frowns. “Why?”

Keigo doesn’t know where to start.

.

In the end, after listening to him intently. His mother only says: “If I am right… Your father didn’t say you had to marry a woman to inherit the position.”

Keigo is at a loss for words. “That’s true, but—”

“ _And_ Mukahi-san likes children.”

“What—”

“You were never very good with them, so I was a little worried about your future as a parent, but now I am relieved.”

Keigo opens his mouth, and then closes it, not wanting to start a discussion on this subject.

.

Keigo thinks of going that same night to see Gakuto, but he is on a shift and that could cause some discomfort. He sleeps well that day — better than he has been sleeping after the whole thing with Oshitari — and goes to work like nothing has happened. The head of the department of law of his soon-to-be company comes by and says that his mother has asked him to see the will. “She is planning something, no?”

He can’t help but smile and shrug. “I have no idea.” He does not sound very convincing. When the man leaves, he texts Gakuto to see if he can see him later. The answers come almost immediately. Keigo smiles at that.

.

When he reaches Gakuto’s apartment, it’s raining. _Very cliché_ , he thinks. He likes it, a little bit. He rings the doorbell and it takes some time for Gakuto to answer. He looks tired but smirks when he sees that it’s Keigo. He is using the oversized sweater that once Keigo fucked him on — just this piece of cloth because Gakuto said he was too cold. He then paraded around the apartment only wearing this, just to tease Keigo and was fucked again because of this.

Keigo feels himself grow harder inside his pants. “You are impossible.”

Gakuto smirks. “Would you like to come in, Keigo?”

“To talk, yes.”

His smirk only grows as he lets Keigo inside the apartment. It’s warm and the air feels heavy, which means Gakuto had been asleep for some time now and woke up now with the doorbell. He confirms it as Gakuto yawns. Keigo stifles the desire to do the same and sits on the couch.

“Do you love me, Gakuto?”

That wakes Gakuto up. He looks at Keigo, searching for answers on his expression — left blank for a reason —, before he says. “Is this a trick question?”

“No.”

“I don’t know. Probably not.” Gakuto looks in the direction of the window, but the curtains are closed. “Is this important?”

“It is to my mother.” Keigo says. He sighs, a little bit relieved. “I don’t think I love you either.”

“That’s great.” Gakuto says, dryly. “I still don’t know what this means.”

“It just means we are at the beginning of a relationship, I believe. Never had one like this, so I’m not sure. But there is room to fall in love, no?” A knot in his stomach begins to form and suddenly Keigo thinks that he has read this all wrong.

Gakuto smiles. He fights not to but fails, and it grows bigger and bigger as he speaks. “Yeah. If you want that.”

Keigo sighs again, relieved again. “I do.”

Gakuto leans in to kiss him softly on the lips, and Keigo answers the kiss with the same intensity, but transforms it on a dirty, wet kiss, just so they won’t lose the touch. When Gakuto wraps his arms around Keigo’s neck and sits on his lap, he knows they will be fine.

.

Gakuto begs to be fucked right on the couch and when he comes, he comments he hopes Keigo does this again, against the window wall of his apartment. “I want to give one of your fancy neighbors a heart attack.”

Keigo laughs at that. “I thought you were supposed to save lives.” He gladly accepts the challenge, however.

.

The next morning, Keigo receives a two-page email from Oshitari, who says he should have been warned that Gakuto and he were having sex so he was not pulled into the mindless drama. _I am heartbroken_ , he writes. _The only way to mend my heart is a threesome with both of you and a possible meet-cute that one of you has to orchestrate. Gakuto has this beautiful co-worker with bleached hair that I accept as a tribute_.

Keigo laughs out loud, without wanting to. His secretary, unused to even seeing Keigo smiles, opens the door to see if everything is alright. As he forwards the email to Gakuto so he is the one to deal with this, Keigo smiles: “Everything is perfect, thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know from where this came from. Honestly. I was fine and then I thought “did Gakuto appear somewhere on the new manga” and then I was reading so many fanfics you guys have no idea. I noticed there was no Atobe/Gakuto on AO3 and my mind didn’t leave me alone until I finished this one.
> 
> I wanted to flip things up and give Gakuto more emotional maturity, because I think that, given these circumstances, Atobe has denied himself this. I think he truly wished he was bisexual so he wouldn’t disappoint his parents, but after years, he had to come to the conclusion he was 100% gay. Meanwhile, Gakuto had two major relationships (Yuushi and Hiyoshi) and many others, though I didn’t feel like mentioning (also, this is Atobe’s POV), and thus has more emotional depth.
> 
> For those wondering, Gakuto and Yuushi probably broke up because they became insecure with the relationship — where they were going, what they were doing — and following different paths, which caused a huge discussion and they both broke up over this. I bet they both regretted this. The idea of Yuushi trying to patch things up with Gakuto and trying to win his back is because I read a lot of fanfics of Yuushi being hopelessly romantic, and this is a good trope. I’m sure they had both moved on, but nostalgia is a strong thing.
> 
> Choutarou and Shishido leaving overseas is because same-sex relationships are still frowned upon on Japanese society (there have been polls about half of the population is in favor of, but still) and are illegal to marry — there is progress and yes, I read this while writing the story because Gakuto and Atobe marrying after a few years together was heavy on my mind —, so I bet they thought it would be better for them to live there. Germany has great orchestras and music schools and Choutarou is rich lol They are fine and married and even adopted children.
> 
> As for Atobe’s family, I just like the idea that his mother chose his happiness over what she thought was right/wrong and that his father would do the same. I love fanfics in which Atobe abandons everything to be with the other person, most of them Jirou, but I decided to make things this way because I thought it would be great character development — and that this was the only way for him to be with Gakuto, or I would write a sad story and I’m sad enough these days with my life.
> 
> In case someone’s asking, I just thought it would be super cool if Gakuto became a doctor, because it doesn’t suit him. And I feel he is very good with children because he has child-like passions and is not that mature, no matter how old he becomes.
> 
> I hope anyone who reads this, likes it. I surely enjoyed writing!


End file.
